Real Deal REInvestor Network

Hey Team, here is a great blog post by Theresa Bradley-Banta. 

There’s a million dollar—no, a multi-million dollar—tip in this post. Actually there’s more than one. Get ready. I’m going to talk to you about your mindset.

We’ve been having a little discussion around here lately about coaching. Specifically we’ve been talking about the kind of coaching people want. I’ve been speaking with a lot of colleagues about this too. And surprisingly (to me) it seems most people are looking for a coach who will tell them what to do…step by step.

So, let me throw a little gas on the fire.

And I’ll fly in the face of what most people are saying while I’m at it. Step by step coaching is nice… but it won’t turn you into a millionaire.

How you think will.

I agree that step-by-step coaching can be effective. The idea of “building success, upon success, upon success” as a good friend says, is a powerful motivator. Yet how you think, and what you bring to the table in terms of mindset, will magnify your small successes ten, one hundred, even a thousand fold.

Let’s buy an apartment building.

Think about it this way. What if you wanted to buy an apartment building but you knew your funds were limited?

Say you go ahead and hire a coach to direct you on how to buy an apartment complex. So far so good. (And I will stress that it is important to become educated in any new endeavor before blindly jumping in.)

You start looking for apartment deals with your new found real estate investing knowledge. Your coach helps you learn to run the numbers on deals. She helps you study the market. She suggests some online sites where you can find real estate listings. And ultimately, with the funds at hand, you end up buying a fourplex… a four-unit property rather than the large apartment building you envisioned.

You’re the disappointed owner of a fourplex. You hired a coach that did what you expected. She coached you on how to do everything yourself. By yourself. Step by step.

But there were limitations.

Now let’s really buy an apartment building.

Let’s say you hire a coach who understands that your psychology plays as big a role as your newly acquired fundamental knowledge of deal analysis and real estate acquisition.

This coach has you start looking at big deals immediately. And making offers on those properties. She has you start interviewing and meeting top real estate professionals in your market. Professionals dealing exclusively in multi-family investing.

You start building a team. This is not a do it yourself endeavor.

You connect with mentors in the field. With brokers. With other apartment owners. With vendors. And contractors.

Rather than find a property on LoopNet (the multifamily equivalent of the MLS) you source deals that haven’t been shopped around yet. And through your connections and networking, you find a great off market apartment deal.

But wait a minute! Didn’t I say earlier that you had limited funds? I did. You heard me right. Here’s the beautiful thing about this story. Coach number two had you thinking in terms of abundance. In terms of building a team. Not going solo. She had you connect with professionals that brought very specific knowledge to the table.

She showed you how to believe big. How to surround yourself with other people who had the knowledge you lack. She didn’t expect you to know how to do everything yourself. She didn’t expect you to DO everything yourself. She showed you that you could fund a big deal with other people’s money. The big OPM.

And here’s what a lot of beginner entrepreneurs never realize.

When you find, or create, a great opportunity (business, real estate, you name it) the money will find you. People don’t pass on great deals.

But you’ve got to believe it.

Your awesome coach helped you think in terms of abundance. She didn’t offer do it yourself, step-by-step coaching. She helped you think in terms of building a team. In terms of overcoming great fear. In terms of being more capable than you would have ever believed possible. Of doing bigger deals.

So, ask yourself this. Which coach would you rather hire? The one who is going to show you baby steps to a fourplex? Or the one who’s going to scare the cr*p out of you? And in so doing show you how to operate with a mindset that you can apply to any endeavor you want, any time in the future?

I've been thinking these past days over a common saw in the motivational arena; that old principle that people only make serious changes in their lives through inspiration or desperation.

 Why is it such an ingrained part of human nature and human life that so often it takes hitting ROCK BOTTOM to instill a fierce enough desire to go TO THE TOP to really get people to TAKE ACTION?

 Now, I'm beginning to understand "people" but some persons I'll never understand...

 Catch the difference?

 "Motivation" is great, but we all know it's not enough, by itself to cause any lasting change for the better in our lives. True and lasting positive change comes down to something less external than just motivation to keep the wheels moving on a car that's physically breaking down.

 Motivation may be a powerful fuel, but the engine that will drive you to success is not it; in my mind, that engine is inspiration, and that comes from within.

 We must all seek out those things that inspire us and keep them close! Find other people that inspire us. Put ourselves in places where we get inspired. Choose to align ourselves with inspirational visions.

 Isn't it AMAZING how in just a few years we as human beings have the power if we focus on what we want rather than what we don't have, we possess the ability and the power to literally transform our lives and lifestyles...to grow...to change our beliefs (think), our perceptions (feel), our behavior (act), and thus completely and totally change our RESULTS (lifestyle)...isn't that amazing we can do it just like that?

 Literally from depressed, dead broke and busted to happy, rich and successful. From a life of violence and drugs to one of compassion and leadership.

 From a dead-end boring existence where one just plods through the day to one where only adjectives of the infinite variety can hope to capture the sheer breadth of possibilities open to you. From spiritual bankruptcy and sin to a closer communion with our Maker and those with whom we share this spinning dirtball we call home.

 No matter where you find yourself today, here and now know this:

 We can grow.

We can change.

We can expand.

We can build wealth.

We can make a difference.

We can draw closer to God.

We can create a lasting legacy that is bigger than ourselves.

 Radical change can’t come from motivation alone, though.

 In a few years with the right environment, it's very much possible to do it if you’re truly inspired. And for most people to have it seem like magic...

 It's all about finding yourself and finding the correct vehicle to help get you from where you are to where you want to be.

 I have found that I can get myself to take action toward my goals only when you ask yourself this question: "When now are you ready to take action?"

 To the 3% who DO....here's to you.

 What works for me I hope will for you too!

 

Because I encourage people to do it in my writings and when I speak to groups, I still often get asked why especially new investors and entrepreneurs need to both write and share their own personal “Why” statement for their plans to succeed in real estate.

A “Why statement” is a combination of goals mixed with vision and dreams. It is a statement that says “THIS is why I’m working so hard, and the life I’m looking to build for myself and those I love”. A good “Why statement” should include WHO/WHAT/WHEN/WHERE/HOW components of what your life will look like when you’ve achieved certain goals you also lay out in the statement.

If you say you want greater success, and have decided to use the vehicle of real estate to get it...in my opinion you may as well continue whatever poor habits you have because the world of entrepreneurship ain't for you. Harsh? Welcome to the real world. People give up their dreams every single day and accept less than they're capable of for their family and their future. Why do they give up on themselves? Often, it's a simple case of not having a strong enough WHY kept in front of their face and in back of their mind at all times.

That means that because no one is requiring you to do this as a 'task', many of  those reading this article who should do this exercise will not do it.

Because doing it is not URGENT.

I would not however say that doing it is not IMPORTANT.

It is anything but!

Again and again to people I have explained the importance of a clear "WHY" in my life, and related a few examples of other successful entrepreneurs for whom this mental tool has been crucial to keep them on track and in pursuit of that future desired but not yet lived.

I regularly suggest to seekers of success in real estate  who do NOT have a strong WHY and one that is clearly and concretely articulated to themselves, that they have a severe disadvantage in seeking the level of success they want and are doing themselves a disservice.

There's a lesson therein, if you catch it.

Urgent vs. Important. Both often need to be done. But only one gives you a deadline and a reminder or feels like it must be done right away, immediately, without delay.

No screaming baby is going to quiet down because you whisper your WHY in his or her pink little ear.

No fire is going to spring up that you need your WHY to extinguish.

No arm is going to get broken that you need your WHY to heal up.

No child's activity coming up unexpectedly and needing a family schedule re-arrangement is going to get resolved because your WHY is there.

No bill sitting on your kitchen table unopened and un-dealt with as you deal with mounting financial pressure is going to be paid and disappear when you determine your WHY.

Having your own personal "WHY" in pursuit of success is IMPORTANT with a capital I. But developing it for yourself ain't ever going to be urgent.

The fact is, ladies and gentlemen...I will not sugarcoat the seeking of success for any of you...in real estate investment or otherwise.

You have to find something or create something as a WHY in your mind that you love enough or are excited enough by to be able to take risks, jump over hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don’t have that kind of feeling for what it is you’re doing, or for the 'end' expectedly resulting from the means you're doing in pursuit of that WHY...you’ll stop at the first or next giant obstacle.

I know not only in theory but in practice as one person after another I started out with on this entrepreneurial journey has reverted back to their past habits, quit their dream, conformed to the 9 to 5 grind, and gone running back to embrace the W-2 paycheck like a baby blankie.

And I do NOT want to partner with people who have a weak WHY, which is why when people come to me looking to do business and seeking mentoring and to work with me, I often ask them about their “why statement”. If they don’t have one, it’s a pretty clear indication to me that should things get tough they’ll buckle and quit. Which means I don’t want to waste my time with them.

Personally, I look at it this way: The stronger your WHY, the more I'm willing to invest myself in you because I know the return on my investment is likely in that the person I'm mentoring will become an excellent partner  and our business can continually grow with in the future.

The world is a risky place. Its very nature is that it is subject to the whim of unexpected chance and the potential for catastrophe and crisis. Yet, by using the incorrect tools and methods to assess risk, and by allowing others who benefit from our choices to do our thinking for us, we convince ourselves that things are less risky than they truly are.

We have to free ourselves from the shackles of conventional thinking and formalized ways of estimating risk vs. reward when looking at choices.

And, as someone who works with private investors who invest in my company’s real estate ventures, that applies to how we must also look at risk vs. rewards scenarios in evaluating potential investments.

When you realize that everything is risky, it can help you determine what risks you’re willing to take to get the rewards that you seek.

And which risks you’re not.

Remember that just being alive here today to read this is in itself a succession of huge risks already braved and bested. Our life, our very breathing, the miracle of our body as our heart pumps blood through miles of vessels throughout our body every day is an extraordinary event in and of itself, is it not?

Especially when you look at the risks we had to overcome even to be here, as every day lives end without reaching the age we have already—and even before our birth, a confluence of events that resulted from our having overcome tremendous odds led to our existence in favor of the seed of others who could as easily have been in our place.

With all the many variables of life itself, life’s little coincidences and uncertainties, accidents and unpredictable scenarios, we have a choice before us in looking at risk.

We can be overwhelmed with the risks, or we can learn to manage them and in so doing we can take on a very exciting state of mind.

And that is this: anything is possible. Anything. And if anything is possible, the risk of things going wrong is very real…but so is the chance for things going perfectly.

The bottom line is that we can’t merely look in the rearview mirror looking at what has happened in the past to plan and assess potential future risks when considering any choice, including possible investments.

It could be that that investment opportunity you’re looking at is the perfect solution to get you what you want at this stage in life. But trust me, it has risk.

Check it out, weigh it against the possible risk of NOT taking action, and against the other risks we face on a daily basis in our lives, and if you feel it makes sense then go for it!

We have to live in the real world, and as such we must recognize that the real world is risky.

Investing is risky.

But so is life.

Which life would you rather have, though? One where you took on some calculated risks and accomplished things others never dreamed of…or the one where you played it completely safe, did what everyone else does, and ended up with the same life everyone else has?

To me, that’s always been the biggest risk of all.

To look back and wonder if my life mattered. If I accomplished anything worthwhile. If the world was unmoved by my having moved within it.

Nope, I won’t take that risk.

Will you?

Take a risk. Live. Take action. Do something great.

 

Whenever I talk to other entrepreneurs and investors, especially new ones, I meet people with questions and concerns about people not believing in them or their dreams.

Their mother in law thinks they should get a job at the dentist’s office instead of pursuing that internet business you’ve been making efforts on for 6 months while you worked part time at the factory. Their cousin got fired from a sales commission only job and now tells you that the network marketing company you’re looking at will never work for you. A co-worker buys an overvalued condo from a pushy salesperson broker, doesn’t know what to do to get it rented, and gets foreclosed on 12 months later—confiding in you that your dreams of real estate investing are stupid and that you should take his advice and just “play it safe”.

This happens all the time, and sometimes—heck, often—the person who won’t cheer your success or support you in pursuing it is not a bad person. In fact, they many times think they’re doing you a favor by “giving it to you straight”.

Want the opinion of a guy who’s been there and done that in business, real estate and making money on the internet?

PHOOEY.

There will always be people who tell you that YOU can’t do something when what they’re really saying is that they don’t believe that THEY can.

I’ve talked to entrepreneurs all over this great country and shared stories of this happening to them too. Face it, it’s normal!

Inventing a future that others do not understand or believe in is hard. Many people around you will not be supportive of your crazy dreamer ideas, many will laugh, and some will even react negatively.

At some level you need to change your circle and get in with the right crowd, around people doing what you want to do, who believe in themselves and you too.

If you want to decrease your stress, increase your success ratio, and have fun with a better quality of people then I highly recommend that you spend more time with folks who are doing what you want to do and less time with people who are trying to force you down a different path, don’t understand what you’re doing or don’t believe in you.

If that’s happening for you, with people around you wondering what the heck you are doing with this internet business, or that real estate stuff, or with that zany home based business…if you’ve heard one too many times “that won’t work”…”I have a cousin who tried that and she lost all her money”…”that’s just a scam and no one gets rich doing it”…”why don’t you just get a job?”…and ”you couldn’t even graduate high school, how are you going to own a business?””…then boy, have I got news for you.

Listen up and trust me in this fact. You are suffering like almost all entrepreneurs do at multiple points in their life. But you don’t have to anymore. Because there is an off switch to all of that crap.

Some of us need to learn who to say “no” to in our lives, the people who have nothing good to say about what you’ve put your heart and soul into, expect you to fail, or continually harp negatively.

Say “goodbye” and flip that switch OFF, lowering the volume of outside distractions, and saying “NO” to people taking up space in your mind but not leaving behind anything positive.

We can all do more when we find more people who encourage us to say “yes” to our dreams.

Each of us as entrepreneurs often has someone in our life that empowers us to do something more, to take risks, to realize our potential, and to go after the better life. It may be a wife or girlfriend, a mother or brother/sister, a teacher or a preacher. Sometimes drawing encouragement from them isn’t enough; sometimes it’s not the message nor the messenger that’s key in catalyzing great achievement.

Sometimes it’s like I said, lowering the volume on distractions and keying in to that one or two voices in your life saying “go for it, I believe in you”. If you too have a person like that in your life, listen to them, find more like them, and tune out the negative crap. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how far you progress in the material world of success—and in that mental world within the six inches of your skull—by this time next year.

       Throughout the years I’ve struggled with myself in the way that I had the habit of starting something and not finishing it. I would make-up excuses and reasons of why I should stop doing whatever I was doing; whether it was a painting I was finishing, landscaping at home, going to college, or even writing a blog. I would always quit before it was time. Perhaps I was settling for what was more comfortable? Maybe I was afraid of success? Or maybe I was just being lazy? Whatever it was, it was draining me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I would think things like, “What if I sold my painting and someone wanted me to paint 15 more for them? Then I’d really have to hustle and take my hobby more seriously.” Or I would say, “What if I actually do finish college and graduate? Then I’d have to do hours and hours of internships, and then I’d have to go to 500 interviews before someone would finally decide to take a chance and hire me.”
       All of these reasons were negative and pathetic excuses. This way of thinking had been holding me back all my life. I don’t know why I thought this way or what might have happened to me when I was younger to cause me to think so negatively and lack the self-confidence that I needed to excel and see things through. It’s a mystery even to me. But as of this day, I choose to change my way of thinking because ultimately, by the grace of God my way of thinking will change the way I am living.
       This is my Declaration of Independence! A declaration that will now define who I am and who I want to be. For far too long I’ve made decisions where I settled for less. These decisions have not only held me down but have also held down those around me, and those who depend on me. No more. No more procrastinating. No more fearfulness for it is fear that will now be my guide and my motivation.
       This is my declaration of independence! By the end of this year 2011, I will complete the MMM Challenge with HONORS. With the help of my mentors I will close at least 5 wholesale deals (or more!), 2 lease option deals and by end 2012 I will be crushing the local real estate market. I will be living like God intended me to live, and my family and loved ones will see that one does not have to live poorly and miserably for the rest of their lives. They will know that we have a choice and that we can re-define our lives. We have the power to break the mold and we can re-shape out own lives and destinies into whatever we wish them to be-should we make the sincere decision to commit to our own success and happiness.
       This is my declaration of independence! I declare independence from fear, poverty, negativity and all other things that have held me back from true success and brought me down. No more will these people, things, and thoughts govern my life and my destiny. I declare my life my own! I declare my destiny my own! And as such I will shape my life as I see fit, and right now-success seems to fit me pretty darn well.

To Your Success,
Hector Torres

The owner had accepted my offer on his house. He told me it was a little better than the other guy’s—the other investor who had looked at the property the same time I did—and he wanted to work with a smaller company anyway (that would be mine. At one person—me—it couldn’t get any smaller).

Now, I just had a couple problems: 1. How was I going to pay for it, and 2. What was I going to do with it once I had it?

My marketing had outstripped my real estate knowledge (how I wish that was happening now!), and I had a house someone was willing to sell me for the price I’d offered. What to do? 

I started by seeking out an attorney. In litigious New York, I knew that was the first help I needed. 

A little panicked because I had to demonstrate my ability to the homeowner soon, I retained the first attorney I met; a woman in a small office who worked with her husband, ran a boutique real estate office, and assured me she knew all about real estate investing. I foolishly believed her, too. 

Instead of flipping the property for a quick $5,000 to $10,000 (which, had I understood wholesaling at the time, should have been my strategy—and which I could have done without an attorney), my attorney steered me into an outright purchase of the house, two mortgages and all. I was then persuaded to try and rehab it myself with the assistance of her two “handymen” (neither of whom spoke English). I have virtually no “handy” skills myself. 

Eventually we did manage significant improvements to the house, through many wild hand gestures, shouting, and scrawled Spanglish notes to one another. Now I just had to find a retail buyer…. But I’m getting ahead of myself. 

Yes, the house did sell finally, after a stint with a rent-to-own tenant, much marketing, and the realization that I never wanted to sell anything “for retail” again. 

Yet, for some reason that is still not entirely clear to me, when this same attorney asked if I wanted to get my real estate license and work as an agent for her, I agreed. 

Wait. Scratch that. I know why I said yes to her. Because I was scared. Rehabbing the house had drained what little financial resources my wife and I had; we were in debt; and I still felt I didn’t know the first thing about successful investing (nor did my attorney). 

Fast forward…

More than a year and a half later, having earned exactly $0 in commissions (save for about $600 I made renting an apartment), and having been shut out of the sole short sale I steadily worked on for this attorney, I walked away. 

I puttered around, read some books, tried to formulate some plans. Nothing much materialized. In retrospect, there was no reason anything much should have materialized. I was still waiting for something to happen. 

A few months passed; I grew increasingly fearful. I heard through the grapevine about a job working as a copy editor for a website. It was supposed to be part time, maybe 20 hours a week. I could work from home. We needed the money. 

One weekend while my wife and son were out of town, I went, interviewed, and got the job. I started within a few days. 

Soon, a few hours a day turned to eight hours a day. Then ten hours a day. One day—a Christmas Eve—I worked from nine in the morning until almost midnight. It wasn’t that the work was backbreaking, or difficult, or even all that stressful—although I was on a constant deadline. No, the job wasn’t those things. What it was, however, was something that has characterized every job I have ever held: It was soul sucking! I hated it. It took the “me” out of me, and over the course of the near year’s time I was there, my life spiraled downward. 

It was somewhere in there that I almost quit it all. I don’t know what exactly, but I know that a part of me just about gave up on myself completely. I almost gave up on my abilities, on my family, on my future, my entrepreneurial dreams—everything. I really almost lost it all. 

And it was there, when I was at the edge and looking down, that I finally did quit. I quit that miserable job as I had so many others. 

But it wouldn’t be until nearly a couple years later that I’d come to understand why I’d held onto that job so tightly in the face of my disintegrating life, when the thing that I really needed to let go was the easiest to release of all. 

At the end of 2005, I quit my job, and have been pursuing financial freedom and the entrepreneurial lifestyle ever since.  There have been many times along the way that I have asked myself, “When is this ever going to start paying off?”  I haven’t made a ton of money yet, but I have freed myself from the dependence on a paycheck, and I believe that the person that I’ve become in the process is what will ultimately enable me to reach high levels of success.

I don’t have a wife or family of my own yet, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about them and how I want to be able to spend my time with them.  (If you haven’t figured it out yet—how you spend your time is ultimately how you spend your life.)  I’m the oldest of 6 boys, and that’s a lot of mouths to feed, so my dad worked all the time when I was growing up and was rarely around.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good man and was an excellent provider, but I didn’t really get to spend much time with him growing up.  I know how important a father time and attention is, and I intend to be very involved in my future children’s lives. 

I also know that one of the most important things that I can do as a good father is be a great husband.  I believe that strong marriages are the foundation of strong families.  Financial freedom will allow me to spend my time on what’s most important in life—people, relationships, family.  Life is so much more than money.  If it were all about money, I’d have quit my pursuit for financial freedom along time ago, but it’s so much more than that.  My future family and generations to come are the reason I keep going when it gets tough.  They’re a big part of my “Why” and one of the main reasons I refuse to quit! 

A tale of when I wanted to quit, but stuck it out . . . This event happened many moons ago, but nonetheless, it was a defining moment in my life. I started playing field hockey in 7th grade. It was my first time on team sports. I was pretty athletic, but up until that point, all my sports had either been individual, or neighborhood pick-up games. I continued playing through high school. When I was in the 11th grade, I was cut from the team. I was cut from the team, and did not even see it coming. During tryouts, I was a little nervous about being cut, because I knew I was not the best player; but I also had a pretty good idea of how the Varsity and Junior Varsity teams were going to be formed. Since there were only 3 grades in our high school, and I was clearly better than any of the sophomores, I really thought I was pretty safe at making the JV team. NOPE. My name was not there on the Junior Varsity list. I could not believe it. My teammates could not believe it. It was like having a dagger put through my chest. My teammates told me to go talk to the coach. I went to the varsity coach and had a talk with her. The varsity coach told me, I was good enough to play on JV, but not on Varsity. However, she also decided, She would rather have my slot opened on the Junior Varsity team for a younger player, or a Senior, whom she preferred. She would use the Senior - Patti, on JV¸ to deepen her Varsity bench, or bring her up due to team injuries. I was very sad, and hurt. I just wanted to go home and cry. My fall schedule had suddenly changed, but I had already planned on staying after for practice. Since I missed the bus and had to wait for a ride home, I walked to the store with my ex-teammates for our usual afternoon snacks and break. While at the store, someone told me they thought they heard that Patti was going to quit. She wanted a varsity position and was not willing to play on JV. Man, I wanted that position. With the encouragement of my teammates I decided to speak to the coach and ask her for a position back on the JV team. I was scared out of my wits, but decided I had nothing to lose. I really did not expect anything but, “I’m sorry, I’d rather a sophomore on the team, than you.” SO after our walk to the store, and a couple of trips to the bathroom, I finally found the courage to go into speak to the coach. I told her, I had heard that Patti was thinking about quitting. She told me, that Patti was not just thinking about it, but that she had actually already quit. Right away I had a flood of emotions – I was equally relieved, and petrified. From fear, I clenched my fists at my side, took a quick breath and decided now was the time to go for it. “Coach”, I said. “ I would like Patti’s place on the team.” She then asked me if I was willing to work hard for it, and dig deeper than I had before. I assured her I would. I walked out of my coach’s office, with my dignity and my position back. I ran to tell my teammates and get changed for practice. Needless, to say, my abilities, and my confidence grew over that year. My coach was also my gym teacher. She saw me grow aggressively in the sports arena. We had co-ed gym, and she saw my attitude about making sure I could not be beat in sports, “just because you are a guy”, mindset. You might beat me, but I was going to give it my all and go out dying! I learned, that in order to get the ball against a guy, you needed to throw an elbow or two to keep the guys out of your space. When they figured out you were serious, they would give you a little space to see your abilities. When they figured out you were good enough, they would leave you alone. I started to play co-ed pick-up volleyball after school w/ many of the top male jocks, AND I held my own! By springtime, I found my groove. I was confident, and good. In several of my gym classes, some of my male jock friends had tried to get beat me in several sports. I usually ended up taking one or two of them out, during the gym period. The male coaches of the school, started coming over to me and my coach, asking me to take it easy on their athletes. My coach/gym teacher was psyched! She knew something I didn’t. She knew that my greatest foe on the field, had been my lack of confidence. She also knew that with my new found confidence, I would be a different and better player on the field! She told me several times, she could not wait to see me on the field, my senior year, practically guaranteeing me a spot. In August, my senior year, I made the team. But just one day after the cuts were made, my coach announced she was leaving the team, and going to coach Bentley College, effective tomorrow. She explained how this was a great opportunity, and promotion for her. “Are you kidding me?” I thought. Needless to say, everyone else on the team had the exact same thought. For the next three weeks, we were more or less self-coached. We finally got a coach, but our team was not real confident in her, or her abilities. She was young, and had not even coached a team yet. We figured we were doomed for the season. Last year’s team was incredible. But we had lost all the star players, over half the team, and a great head coach. Behind our new coach’s back, we decided as a team, that if nothing else, we would have a great camaraderie, and make sure we had fun. We wanted to win a few games, and set a team goal of winning 50%. We had a coach that was in it, at least for the season. By the time we had played five games, we had a few weeks with our new coach. Just before we got off the bus, she stood at the front of the bus. She said, “Ladies, this is a significant game. You have a record of 2-2-1. You have two wins, two losses, and one tie. It is time now to make a decision as a team. Do you want to have more wins, or losses? Or do you want to add another tie, which is not even like playing a game? But you have to decide now, and that will determine how you play. ” That struck a chord with me. I got up, and said, “You know what girls, coach is right. Let’s go out and play our heart out today. Let’s make Coach Mullen, regret she left us, and show her, we don’t need her!” Turns out, we won that game. It was a very difficult game. The other team was a dirty, extremely aggressive, but also a very skilled team. They almost beat us with their cheap tricks, trips, and punches. We held our heads high, we did not stoop to their level of playing, and kicked our determination up a notch. When we walked off the field we walked off bruised and beaten, but nonetheless victorious. With our victory, came more determination. After that win, we gave ourselves a team pep-talk before every game, and we won the rest of our games in our regular season. We ended up in a tie for first place, in the first division of the state of Massachussetts. We went to the play offs. After the first play-off game, I started to get run down. I got a cold, but I kept on practicing and playing. This was our season, and I did not want to let my teammates down. The substitute player for my position, was excited for the opportunity to play for me. She made sure to give her best, at all of our practices. As the playoffs went on, my cold got worse. I developed bronchitis, and then pneumonia. I would be running down the field, coughing, and hacking, during the games. My teammates knew I was sick and learned not to pay attention to me, but the other teams were initially be very concerned for me. My last 4 games were physically awful. When we had a penalty, or timeout, I was usually over the side line, vomiting. It got to the point, that my grandmother, and mother could no longer watch me play. They were too worried I was going to need an ambulance, to take me to the hospital. Looking back, it’s quite funnyy though - I remember looking at my team in a huddle between halves, and they were very intensely listening to coach. I, on the other hand, was intensely heaving up half a lung. At the quarter¬-finals, during our pre-game warm up; I was thinking I feel really crummy. I don’t think I want to play today. What does it matter if I quit playing for the remainder of the season? No one will blame me, they all know I have pneumonia. In fact, they have all told me, I should rest on the sidelines, and let my back up, Lisa play for me. As I was having all this self-talk in my head, Lisa came in line behind me, and said, “You know, Alis, if you don’t want to play, or if you feel you need a rest at anytime in the game, let me know. I am happy and ready to help you and the team out.” She was being a great team player, but that was just the kick in the butt, I needed. That comment instantaneously changed my attitude. I sucked up, all the pain, fatigue, and difficulty breathing I was having, and I made the decision, I was going to play. Not only play, but play well, and not give Lisa the satisfaction of playing for me. The poor kid, she never knew what hit her! The ironic thing about that game . . . it was the longest game on record in the state at that time. We played two 45 min halves, as usual, but we tied 1-1. Because it was the playoffs, we went into overtime. I had played the entire 90 minutes of the game. Regulation rules state, if you played the last ten minutes of the second half, you had to play in the overtime¸ with no substitutions. Little did I know that I would end up playing, a double overtime, and then sudden death. I played field hockey for 2hrs 18 min. WITH pneumonia! By the time we got to the sudden death round, I was not the only one on the field, who didn’t care which team won. Most of the players on both teams, just wanted SOMEONE to score, so we could stop playing and go home! We all knew we had played our best, and at that point, that was enough personal satisfaction. Fortunately, for the Woburn Tannerettes, one of our forwards, was a little hungrier than anyone else, and scored the winning goal - by shear drive. Thank God, the game was over! We played two more games, and we won them both. We were Division I State Champions, and I had played every minute of every playoff game. After winning our Final game, we had a huge team party and sleepover. I went to the party and tried to sleepover, but I was just too sick. I left the party, and went home sick, in the middle of the night. I ended up missing the following week of school, and most of the school honors and banquets for the team. I did make it to the Fall Season Sports Banquet, though. We were awarded our various trophies, rings, jackets, etc. for being the Division One State Champions. At that banquet, I was surprisingly awarded the largest trophy in all the fall sports teams, from the Mayor. It was the Unsung Hero’s award, in memoriam of his late wife. It was a very touching moment. I also found out, my team unanimously voted me the recipient. I wanted to give up a couple of times in my field hockey career. • When my coach didn’t think I was I was good enough for the team, I didn’t think I was good enough for the team. I wanted to just crawl under a rock, and not re-approach her. • When I was sick with pneumonia. I just wanted to go home and get in bed. But I am so glad I did not give up. Those were defining moments in my life. Lessons learned from them: • Get Clear about what you want, and ask for it. • If you don’t ask, you’ll never get it. • If you are not willing to speak up for yourself, you cannot negotiate on behalf of yourself. • You reap what you sow. • Action is all that matters – taking action started building confidence. • Humility is power, I was humbled enough to want to do better. • If it ain’t fun, it ain’t worth doing. And most importantly, Unity is the ONLY way. We were a team without any stars, and without a coach. But our determination, and team spirit, is what got us to winning the state title. Because we had no stars, we learned how to play to everyone’s strengths, and to protect each other’s weaknesses. As a team, we became the “Queen of Victory.” This has recently become a mantra of mine, to increase my inner strength. I am a Queen of Victory! Long Live the Queen!  PS I am not telling you what year that was, since some of you were not even born yet! LMAO

You can’t spend time wallowing with the pigeons if you want to soar with eagles. People tend to make about the same average salary as the people they hang around with. If you want to be rich, associate with folks who are doers and not talkers. If you’re a MMMChallenge member you have already know  how to leave the past in the past and leave behind those that won’t share and support your dreams. (If you’re not in the MMMChallenge go here and get on the waiting list for the next opportunity www.mmmchallenge.com). You must also leave your comfort zone. Don’t let the fear (false evidence appearing real) hold you back. Take on mentors and learn from their experience. Do what they do. Get in a mastermind of right thinking people. This will help support your progress, gain new ideas and bounce your thoughts off others. Now get out there and do it!